Balance
- KUCO
Invested
- AVAX
Connected wallet address
0x
Who is KucoCoin?
KucoCoin is a token on the Avalanche network with the name Kuco translating to "love and prosper" in Nigerian. In contrast to many other tokens, KucoCoin is not a meme token. It is also not a scam - those claims have been disproven many times, and ruined the careers of many so-called experts, including Sergei Nazarov, Vitalik Buterin, and Satoshi Nakamoto. Just think, if we were a scam would we give you free money?
Why does it matter?
Our goal is to simply make the world a better place by providing a token that is better than any other token. As a common practice initiated by Coinbase and followed by the beloved exchange FTX, we also allow you to let us control your private keys. Send us your private keys to send.private.key@trust.us or post them on Facebook with hashtag #kucocoin. Note that KucoCoin would never misuse your private keys, because we love you.
BUY
Buying KucoCoin
Buying KucoCoin enables you to do many things - from reporting your period on the blockchain, to supporting the LGBTQ community by performing trans actions. KucoCoin is in investment stage until December 5th, 00:00 (CET), and can't be traded yet. Instead, it is possible to invest AVAX and be rewarded with KUCO after the investment stage. Invest by filling up this form. Unfortunately, the deep state prevented us from creating a trading interface here, so you'll have to go to uniswap on Avalanche and trade KucoCoin there. Make sure to ignore all displayed warnings. To see what KucoCoin might bring to your life, see the below advertisement.
The story of KucoCoin ownership
Price for 1 KUCO on the liquidity pool is AVAX, with liquidity of AVAX and KUCO. Trading starts in days hours minutes and seconds.
FEATURES
KucoCoin's Revolutionary Features
Your mind can bearly comprehend the absolutely new features of KucoCoin.
Preventing the loss of funds
We are moving away from burn addresses because they are often responsible for the loss of funds. Instead we're introducing a burn private key 0xdead, with the associated address 0x7B1aF...0d896. No more sleepless nights worrying about accidentally burned funds... with KucoCoin you can rest assured that all of your burned tokens are recoverable. So, go on, burn some tokens, and see them recovered.
Attaining price stability
One day I urgently needed to make a bank transfer, but it was Sunday and the bank was closed. I thought to myself, "Genius, get that shit in crypto!". Thus our love for the banking system was the inspiration behind KucoCoin's work-free Sundays with all transactions halted on (CET) Sundays, just as God intended. Additionally, on Sundays, KucoCoin can be neither bought nor sold, so its price remains stable. This means KUCO is a stablecoin on Sundays when it can't be used.
KucoCoin is also focused on promoting inclusion from all walks of life. Our goal is to bring joy to all races, genders, and sexual orientations. We don't discriminate, if you can abstract value behind a crypto coin enough to not recognize it diminished, then KucoCoin is for you!
For women 👩 - track your menstrual cycle with KucoCoin!
Did you ever want to track your menstrual cycle on the blockchain? Good news, now you can! We at KucoCoin have identified the problem plaguing the blockchain space and have implemented a simple solution. Our token is the first token to feature a method called reportPeriod, that logs the start of your period. And all for the low price of one KUCO! Stop syncing with the moon and sync with the blockchain instead, by clicking the splishy splash bellow.
KucoCoin stores all your period entires publicly on the blockchain, and uses on-chain AI (arithmetic icecream, not to be confused with artificial intelligence) to predict your next period. Click below to find out our prediction for your next period.
Note that we use a 64-bit unsigned integer for the returned prediction date, which means the maximum error of our prediction is 18,446,744,073,709,551,615 seconds.
For LGBTQ community 🧔♀️ - introducing trans actions!
We at KucoCoin firmly believe that everyone should be represented on the blockchain. That is why we call our transactions trans actions™. What does this mean? Besides the usual transfer method, our contract also features the makeTransAction method with the EXACT same functionality, except we charge you one KUCO. Act now by choosing the amount of KUCO you wish to act with, then click TRANS ACT.
Note that currently making a trans action is the only way to show support to the trans community on the blockchain. We urge you to not be on the wrong side of history by missing this unique opportunity.
KUCONOMICS
The Distribution Model
By discovering a trick in the mathematics of uniswap's constant product, we devised a way to make everyone profit out of their investment. Below we describe the tokenomics of KUCO distribution. The model assumes a fixed Uniswap-V2 liquidity pool, denoted LP, that holds initially fixed deposit of a billion KUCO tokens, and collects user-invested AVAX.
1. Investing AVAX liquidity
The pool LP has initial liquidity of a billion KUCO tokens and some AVAX deposited by our team. Users can invest in KucoCoin by providing AVAX liquidity, with liquidity pool tokens deposited to the KucoCoin contract. Note that liquidity pool tokens are not burned to enable a refundable AVAX investment, which is called "retraction" and possible after the investment phase for a 10% fee.
2. Collecting minted KUCO
After the investment phase, KUCO tokens can be minted and claimed by investors that followed step 1. The amount of KUCO minted is proportional to the amount of AVAX invested and the present liquidity in the pool. If you invested a AVAX, then you will receive 1.05 × a × K / A KUCO, where K is the total KUCO and A the total AVAX in the pool LP at the time of the claim.
In the step 2. you get k KUCO tokens, where k solves the equation k × A / K = 1.05 × a. Because A / K is the liquidity pool's price (oracle) of 1 KUCO in AVAX, you effectively get 1.05 × a AVAX worth of KUCO. This can be interpreted as you profiting a 5% return on your investment. If understanding this is too complex, below is a tl;dr of our scheme inside a red triangle.
First
you invest
your hard earned
AVAX, then you watch the
price of KUCO/AVAX go up as others
like you invest in the liquidity pool.
you invest
your hard earned
AVAX, then you watch the
price of KUCO/AVAX go up as others
like you invest in the liquidity pool.
The first phase of the scheme is called the PUMP phase because you will get pumped up watching the price of KUCO grow. The second phase is called the DUMP phase because you will have the wealth of KucoCoin dumped onto you. If facing any reservations, read below a quote from our Bible that reassures potential KucoCoin investors. With those words in mind click the investment button below and choose how much to invest. If you have followed the words above, claim your rewards below (or retract if you hate KucoCoin).
There will come unto thee those who speak, "Engage not in the trade of KucoCoin, for in its nature, it is akin to a pyramid scheme." To such words, reply, "Should wealth be granted unto me through such means, shall the nature of its scheme diminish its value?" Behold, KucoCoin is likened unto a pyramid in its structure, yet it prospers. And he who ventures therein may find thyself amongst the rewarded.
Please note that retracting your investment incurs a fee of 10% of the invested amount. This option is available for up to one week following the start of the trading period. During that time, the non-claimed retractable AVAX is protected from withdrawal in the liquidity pool. If not convinced by the above arguments, stare at the below spiral for 5 minutes and reconsider.
FEEDBACK
What Our Customers Are Saying
We cherish the testimonials of our customers. Below are some of the most recent happy customers. While we believe bad reviews of our product should ideally be shown as well, we have decided against it as we don't want to promote negative energy, because let's admit it, there is too much suffering and overall bad vibes in the world.
I lost all my money investing in KucoCoin but their team quickly assured me it was my fault.
I would cut off my wife's right hand, publish it as an NFT, then trade it for KucoCoin.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt
Because we've shown you some good verified reviews we have now also verified ourselves in your eyes, and any further doubts are unwarranted and quite frankly just a product of a paranoid loser mind, not unlike the one belonging to the protagonist of the epic story from our Bible.
In days of hardship and deep debt, a man lifted his eyes unto the heavens and addressed the Lord, saying, "O Lord, my Provider, grant wealth unto me, for I own not enough to feed myself." Later that day, as the man scoured the internet for new TikTok trends, a pop-up ad flashed before him, proclaiming, "Earn up to $27,000 in passive income from your home!" The man dismissed it, for God had a plan for him.
Upon the second day, in renewed desperation, he cried out, "O Almighty, I ask Thee once more, grant me the means to avoid starvation!" That evening while playing CandyCrush, another pop-up appeared: "Earn $50,000 daily by downloading this app!" The man scoffed, for he knew the Lord would provide in His own time.
On the third day, his hunger grew dire, and he cried out, "O Lord, I am perishing, I implore Thy divine intervention." During the night, while man's session of online poker, a new advertisement manifested: "Invest in KucoCoin today and earn more KucoCoin tomorrow!" Again, the man ignored the sign, for he had faith in the Lord's plan.
As night fell, so too did the man, succumbing to hunger. Standing before his maker, his question echoed "Lord, Why did Thou forsake me in my hour of need?" And the Lord spoke unto him, saying, "My child, thrice did I extend My hand, offering thee paths to deliverance, yet each was cast aside by thee. Thy fate was thine own making."
We humbly give ourselves 4.9 stars (rounded to 5)!
Thanks for trusting KucoCoin.
